Press Release: Barney Poaching Awareness

Portland, OR. A heartbreaking epidemic is sweeping over the fashion world. Popular television star and endangered species, Barney, is reportedly being is being poached for his hide. These uniquely colored hides are being constructed into devastatingly cute bags that are ready for spring and sold at irresistible prices. Members of Barney’s fan club, interviewed Tuesday, were at a loss for words and proceeded to throw cheerios everywhere. Nobody knows who is responsible for this growing tragedy, but officials of the Barney Poaching Awareness Organization, or BPAO, released a statement on Monday saying they are doing everything they can to make sure the remainder of the friendly dinosaurs are being looked after at a safe house. The location of the safe house was undisclosed by the BPAO, but rumored to be somewhere near Sesame Street. Nobody knows what is next for controlling this epidemic and a public warning has been issued to Baby-bop to watch her back. It would make for a nice wallet.

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bag: H&M, $17.95. Sale price: $13.46