DorkyChick Diary: Being an Idiot Human

One day you might find yourself with bright red hair eating soup outside in a parking lot on an unusually hot March day. Your head might be pounding a little because you decided to have a couple shots of whiskey last night after your shift at the bar. Your pants might have gotten to that point where you need to diet or buy new ones and you may have just needed to pull down the back of your shirt to protect your decency.

You may sit there in the hum of the traffic realize you are an idiot human. You have spent thousands on education, but you spill with some frequency. You still get spellchecked by the computer when you spell words like “piece” and “field”. You still haven’t figured out why your apartment is always messy.

You may decide it is wonderful to be such a moron; drooling, dropping, and dawdling. And the weight on your shoulders may just evaporate in the perfect sun and realign you with yourself. Your senses would filter the outside world just as they should, and sitting pensively as people pass you in a parking lot suddenly wouldn’t make you feel so naked.

You may realize that today, you’re just harvesting inspiration by watching red shopping carts deport and return; deport and return, seeing children wearing pink sequin fedoras as their parents silently foster their independence, and admiring fresh, bright spring clothes being debuted under a cloudless sky. You might find yourself drawing your eyes up to clean lines and natural materials of the attractive modern building as it towers over pairs of shoppers that don’t notice. Ice in your to-go cup might tingle and freeze your tongue as your back starts to ache from sitting on the hard, elevated concrete. You may have come one step closer to inspirational nirvana as your skin turns slightly pink.

And after all this spiritual bliss you might realize the whole time your buttcrack was hanging out.

Awesome.

Have an amazing, inspired Saturday. I hope it’s sunny where you are too 🙂

Xo

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I’m sorry, Macklemore is unavailable right now

I popped some tags. I had twenty dollars in my pocket. I was hunting; looking for a “come-up”. It was _________ awesome.

Thrifting is as trrrrreennnday as ever right now with much thanks to the popular Macklemore song “Thrift Shop”, so I felt it is high time I did an  investigative report on this craze.

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A couple weeks ago, some inspiration came by way of a reader recommendation that I check out this hilarious blog called “Bins Babes”. These fashion comedians recreate look-alikes to high fashion runway outfits out of the scrapings of the Goodwill Outlet bins. For those of you who have never been to a Goodwill Outlet, it is a smelly warehouse full of troughs of items that were rejected at regular Goodwill stores. Shoppers hoard whatever they can find into shopping carts as they dig through these piles of clothing and assorted goods, weigh it in a scale, and then pay per pound for their items.

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It’s something around a dollar per pound, maybe a quarter or two more but I can’t remember specifics. Its dirt cheap and emphasis on the dirt. Truth be told, I never had heard of this bins phenomenon until I saw this ridiculousness that is Bins Babes and couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

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I think the word I would use here is “impressive”. How hilarious/awesome is that!

I had to see these magic bins with my own eyes and find out if there were any diamonds hiding in the rough with my name on it. Unlike Bins Babes, I did not have any intention of scoring any look-alikes, but I hoped that perhaps I’d find something worth a couple bucks I could snag for my closet. So my friend Stephanie and I set out on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon with “twenty dollas in our pocketttts” to see what there was to see.

Tucked away, just off the highway, the outlet parking lot is full of Goodwill trucks. We snagged a parking spot, and proceeded inside to find ourselves inside the sliding doors, facing rows on rows of big bins that had mountains of clothing.

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Hey, it looks just like my apartment!

First things first, Steph put this on and cast a magic spell so we could get the good thrift juju going….

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#thingsiwishiwouldvebought

#yesiknowhashtagsareirrelevanthere

OKAY TIME IN:

My finds were this long suit jacket and lace fabric. I think this belonged to the tallest, thinnest businessman in all the land. We agreed the fabric would be fun to make a little minidress out of and stick under this boxy, yet femme jacket.

Total spent: $4.04

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Stephanie nabbed a couple pairs of jeans for mere tuppins and found some decent H&M garb along the way.

Total spent: $5.02

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Realizing there was nowhere to go but up, we decided to check out another thrift store, Red, White, & Blue. I had heard good things, and it even had online recommendations. So we cruised on down to get a little look-see for ourselves.

After what we had just seen, this place looked like Nieman Marcus. Clothes had hangers! Garments were hung by color and category! It didn’t smell like feet!

This is where the real fun began. Steph got a tough-girl sleeveless button-up, an instagram worthy sweater, a sterling silver ring, and a flirty summer skirt. Putting her only 80 some cents over her 20 dollar budget.

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I, on the other hand, went over budget, and here’s why.

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This jacket, made of French rabbit fur, is a vintage piece I found just nestled in the jacket rack. On the way in, they had displayed a slightly larger fur jacket for $120 bones, and while that is a good deal, was not good enough for me. This timeless piece I stole  purchased respectfully for thirty bucks.  I knew it was over budget and vacillated as I shopped around the store; leaving the piece on the hanger in the cart. But what sealed the deal, was as I got towards the check out, I started to have customers eyeing my find and circling my cart like vultures. I kid you not! One man even got his face all up in it and was prodding me to find out more about it. Another woman was nearly salivating as she mentioned it’s value.   Not only was it irresistibly soft and classically beautiful, it was worth a hellova lot more than $30!! So I did it. I went over budget. They made me!!! I couldn’t say no!!!!

Still not mad about it.

Wait! That’s not all I found!! I also go this super-duty bomber jacket in the men’s section for $8…

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This tank top for $2…. (it looks better in person)

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And I scored a sweet geode necklace I wore in my last blog!

(Accessorizing on a budget is a whooolllleee additional blog, mind you. I’ll be helping out my friend Loren as we take on the challenge of accents and flair in the next couple weeks!)

The best part of the day? Washing my hands! 

I jest, but it really was a fun-filled adventure into a glimpse of thrifting! So often us shoppers get lured in by the pretty displays and “sale” signs, as we think about making our next purchase. I found out on this venture, however, that there is some serious style to be found out there! Treasure hunts aren’t just for pirates! They are for fashionistas and fashionistos! (I’m talking to you, Macklemore)

On top of that, I am happy to have lived through the experience, and I’d like to take a moment of silence to honor those thrifters who weren’t so lucky.

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I’m sorry, buddy. I’ll be thinking of you at the great big white bins in the sky. *sniffle*

Thanks to everyone for reading this far! I know it was a long one. To Stephanie for being my accomplice, to Ashley for sharing Bins Babes, and to Bins Babes for being hilarious. And especially to the idiot at Red, White, & Blue for totally mis-marking that jacket price! 

xo

Fashion Illustration Practice 3.28

Fashion Illustration Practice 3.28

Okay so I rushed this one a little, but I got so excited about her fur coat thing! Sable colored leather jacket with full rabbit fur train and feathers at the bottom. Doesn’t fit all the way across and is meant to have exposed ribbon to fasten. Would have boning to give it the structure it needed to maintain it’s shape. Lined with deep, subdued teal and worn over a grey mini dress. Heels are dark sable leather and have checkered wedge with cutout center. Maroon and beige checks. True confession: the model was supposed to have an olive complexion, but I messed it up so I had to draw over it. I think I actually like it more with the dark skin though. Anyways.

Here’s to sucking less!

Pictures of my trrrrrenday outfit 3.27

Went out for dinner with some of my fabulous Miss Oregon sisters last night at one of the coolest spots in P-town, Departure! It is on the 15th floor of the Nines hotel, which sits right on Pioneer Square downtown. It looks a lot like what I would imagine I would want my evil lair in space to look like.

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Check out these bathrooms! I was half waiting for Darth Vader to pop out of the stall next to me!

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Totally forgetting that I was going to be getting cocktails in the next century, I wore trends that went out in, like, 2013. Still trying to work around this new hair color, I opted for all neutrals with a turquoise geode medallion necklace.

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Here I am practicing for the elevator ride:

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Next time I go to Departure, I’ll wear something more like this:silver-invisible-man-suit-zoom

This has Happy Hour written alllll over it.

Anyone care to join? 😉

xo

My consciousness sounds like PeeWee Herman and I dyed my hair red

I did it. I crossed something off of my bucket list. An idea slow-roasting in my mind’s rotisserie  for five years has finally come to pass. I died my hair red. Not a natural shade, but rather like Cherry Coke. I’ll call it Roy Rodgers Red. 

WHY would I do this to my hair?!?!  A breakup? A quarter-life crisis? A gothic phase? An obsession with Ginger Spice?!?

None of the above. (I lied. I love Ginger Spice ;)) But truly, red has always been a color that I gravitate towards. I love that it has ferocity, femininity, spirituality, playfulness, it is rambunctious, and it is eye-catching. It is the stuff of our livelihood; it is flowing through our veins. Nearly 6 years ago, I saw a young woman who had dark cherry locks and I was mesmerized. I had always assumed hair color to be something that should resemble somebody else’s natural, and if it wasn’t natural-looking, then you better be in a multi-million dollar rock band or a cartoon character. The way this woman wore her hair was not in a way that was meant to be either of these things. She remained polished, and womanly as she carried these flaming locks on her head. I took a mental photograph, and let my thoughts keep circulating.

So when I realized I was at a point in my life when the only thing truly stopping me from scratching this bold-colored itch, was myself, I knew I had my work cut out for me. Mastering a bold color like red is like wearing a flashy accessory that I can’t take off. Well okay I could take it off, but I don’t think a little hair dye will be as bad as Britney’s 2007. 

What I’m saying is that I needed to have a plan to execute! A bullseye to puncture! A vision to illustrate! Here are some of my favorite hairspirations:

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I found myself constantly gravitating towards these bold, yet, surprisingly refined statements of fashion fearlessness. And I heard PeeWee saying

IF YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY DONT YOU MARRY IT?

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Okay so I know I’m not going to marry it, PeeWee, but I was coming to the realization that I was watching other people express themselves in a way I felt expressed me! It was, in short, a reality check. What was I waiting for? Why spend any more time, effort, and money to look in the mirror and see a girl who wasn’t executing her plans?

I saw no reason.

It was about more than hair color.

It always is.

But this time it wasn’t a breakup or a rebellion. This time it was a celebration. It is a celebration that I am on my way to making dreams come true, that I am surrounded by supportive people, and that I’m making a promise to myself to never live apologetically. Why apologize, hide, or comply with other’s ideas when I know my pursuits are those of love, passion, and happiness?

So I did it. Here’s a little “before and after”580296_10101361805163479_203781353_n

 

*shout out to Stephanie, my wonderful friend and the arteeest behind it all 🙂

 

What I used to look like in my blogging chair:

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What I look like now:

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Oops I mean:

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Something tells me this is going to be fun…..really fun.

…and I think it would take a lot to put out my new flames 😉

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^^ Okay I hope I wasn’t the only one who laughed at that.

On behalf of myself and those firemen: happy hump day.

xo

 

Psychics ARE real and they work at Jimmy Johns

The other day I needed something freaky fast and freaky delicious, so, naturally, I went to Jimmy Johns. I was wearing Lululemon and Nike clothing, had my blonde hair pulled back, and was looking athletic, although I was actually just lazy and in between studying for finals. So I go in with an idea of what I want, knowing full well how delicious the Beach Club is, and then I see that there is a Vegetarian sub that has everything the Beach Club has but without meat. So as I’m debating these things in my head the 4 staffers behind the counter are watching and waiting and I hear “she is going to go for the six or the twelve”. 

I froze. This voice was lower than that of my conscious. I looked at the menu. #6 was the Vegetarian sandwich. #12 was the Beach Club. 

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It was one of the guys working the sandwich line who spoke my innermost thoughts. I felt so naked and exposed! How could he know! My stubborn side said eff that, I’ll get the Italian Nightclub or the Vito! But my stomach said no. I wanted those crisp cucumbers, fresh tomatoes, crunchy sprouts, and creamy avocado in and around my mouth. I couldn’t hide it. The only choice was deciding if I wanted the turkey on the #12 or just the veggies with the #6! 

I went for the #6, and contemplated what had just happened as I devoured that beautiful sandwich. That guy at Jimmy Johns didn’t know anything about me other than what I looked like, and somehow, he knew that I wanted a sandwich with avocado and cucumbers. I was a victim of customer profiling. Judging by my athletic wear, he was correct in guessing that I am healthy conscious like to have nutrient rich foods, like tomatoes and avocados, on my sandwich, and the Beach Club and Vegetarian sandwiches have the same combo of veggies; the only difference being that the Beach Club has turkey and the Vegetarian does not.  All of this he could tell by my clothing. 

What’s more, is that this happened to me just one day after getting word that our next fashion class assignment would be about customer profiling. I need to determine a customer to profile and design outfits for them. The decisions people make based on their age, interests, income, region, and others truly do reflect in the choices we make as consumers. For example, I am a student in her early twenties who lives in the Pacific Northwest values health. This means I’ll probably need some versatile and comfortable clothing for running between classes to get Jimmy Johns sandwiches with avocado on them. 

For this project, however, I need to decide upon someone who is going to order a different sandwich than myself. For that reason, I’ve decided on the 60+ affluent urban sophisticate. 

This grey-haired fox is an independent lady of NYC. She walks her little spoiled dogs through Central Park daily, drinks one martini when she attends swanky art gallery openings, and is enjoying the twilight of her lucrative career. She shops, but not excessively. She is smart with her money and knows when quality is a factor of timelessness, yet, she also has the money to spend on quirky expressive pieces. She stays relevant with fashion, but dresses for herself and for fun! She loves to celebrate beauty, art, and laughter.

Inspirations: 

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Next steps will be designing outfits, finding swatches, and creating a presentation. Stay tuned 🙂 

 

Huzzah for more sucking-less-ness!

Wrapped up the fashion illustration drawing series today, and I think it is safe to say I’ve made vast improvements. I’ve always been able to sort-of draw, and I’ve always been good at not following directions. This combination is surprisingly worthless. Oh wait, you’re not surprised at all? But overall it was a great reminder that sometimes talent doesn’t mean being gifted- it can mean persevering and applying knowledge! And my fashion illustrations can be as fabulous as I want them to be, as long as I am patient and allow myself to keep seeking out growth!

OH LIFE LESSONS. You sneaky devils interrupting my blog posts. *Insert toddler style stink-eye with arms crossed here*

So not to toot my own horn, but

TOOT TOOOOOT!

I’m finally seeing some of my artwork that I’m actually proud to show off!! This was what I presented to my classmates after only an hour of illustrating. Can’t wait to work on the final project and spend a lot more time on it. I’ll post within the week. Below is our lovely model! Oh-let’s name her! we’ll call herrrrrr…… Gisele! (pronounced GEE-suh-LUH. A name I thought sounded beautiful in my head in 7th grade German class, and I chose it to be my “class name” for the semester. Well I found out quickly it sounds more like a smelly migrating bird than a Victoria Secret model #middleschoolproblems…. moving on) Here is our faaaaabulous model Gisele and she is ready for fall. She is capturing the essence of rock-hipster-glam in this purple/camel plaid zipper dress complete with leather sleeves. Notice her dress is lined to keep her extra cozy along with that faux-fur scarf and heeled combat boots. A perfect outfit for grabbing a 16 oz soy pumpkin spice latte on the way to watch her boyfriend’s band play a fairly cool local venue. Rock on, Gisele. Rock on.

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There you have it, folks! So glad I know the rules now, because you have to know the rules in order to break them 😉

Pics of my trrrrrenday outfit 3.24.

 

 

 

 Being the imposter Portland trendster that I am, today I decided that a subdued color motif and jeans I wore yesterday would truly capture the essence of a casual urban Sunday in the “city of roses”. My team of elite stylists agree that presentation is everything, so I made sure not to wash my hair, put makeup on, or put contacts in. I would have definitely destroyed this powerful statement of hip-ness… OH the things I do for fashion!ImageImageImageImageImage

Now if only I could find a bird to put on it…….

 

Happy Sunday- more blogventures tonight. xo

 

 

Tears on my Crayola 64 pack

I opened a vein at the art store today. Well, I nearly did. I definitely contemplated dumping red paint on myself and gasping for air at the checkout. I needed markers and pencils and papers and doodads for the second half of my fashion drawing series which is tomorrow. I’m really excited to learn how to illustrate clothing, but I had to do a little investing beforehand in some supplies.

I found out quickly these ain’t yo mommas Crayolas. Each Prismacolor pen costs several bucks, and I, being obsessed with color, became weak at the knees at the sight of all the pretty hues! And you can’t just get the pens. You gottttta get the shmancy colored pencils and the paper and the thing that blends the pens and the sharpener for the pencils and the bag to put the crap in and blah blah blah (I loved every minute of it…) So I bought the required supplies and a few extra to appease my appetite for creativity and then came home to play with my goodies.

A couple weeks ago, I blogged about the progression of my sketches (see here), so I’m installing one more into that timeline today. I finally got my hands on those awesome markers and took them for a test spin! I am obsessed. The soft strokes, the fluid lines, and the vibrant colors are way better than any school supply ever was before. And here I was still worshipping the sharpener in the 64 pack….

…(sigh)….those were the days….

Realizing I haven’t completed my ideal design for the project I did over Christmas break (see here and scroll to bottom) , I decided to draw a more completed version!

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My favorite part, was working with the deep maroon and sepia colors together. I loved being able to give the body some shape without making the paper get so moist it pills. I went for a darker maroon look for the skirt, and actually think if I were sewing it, I would use a different fabric that maybe gave it just a little bit of a darker feeling. Who knows!

I realize now I was a little too abrasive with the pencil, her hair is more Miss Frizzle than P!nk, and her lady lumps are, dare-I-say, fergalicious… Also, I decided last minute to outline her figure and garments, and I wish I wouldn’t have. And the delete button didn’t work! 

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So anyways, it is a start!! Or, rather a check point 🙂 I am really excited to see what I can churn out after this weekend- stay tuned!

Before that I might need some Adele and alone time with my Crayolas.

*sniffle* I’ll miss you, you waxy little SOB’s 

 

Pineapple eye massage

It’s Spring Break for meeee! Yippee!!! Just got done with finals and I am in desperate need of an eye massage. My eyes have been stressing themselves out this week, and they need something pretty to look at! Checking out my notes, spellchecking my essays, and of course checking boxes on my to-study list. I’ll tell you the only kind of checks I’m really interested are these from the Louis Vuitton Spring 2013 collection ! Although if anyone has a blank check they’d like to give me I think I’d have an interest in that too…..

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Reviving granny panties and throwing out bras? I think my dreams are coming true.

 

 

 

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Twin convention? Or did nobody tell me it’s twin day for homecoming week??!

 

 

 

 

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The Spring collections actually debut in Fall, so I’m well aware this is all old news to any fashionistaaaas, but I’m feeling Springy now! And this is my blog I do what I want. 🙂 

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Fun fact: This show was actually only 6 minutes long, which is kind of crazy considering how much work it takes to make these sorts of things. 

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What inspired Marc Jacobs (head designer for Louis Vuitton) to make this collection as stark and grid-like as he did, is actually a piece of minimalist installation art called Les Deux Plateau. Notice the varying lengths and bold contrasting lines. Jacobs captured the different heights through using the different lengths on the garments, and kept the streamlined look of the pole by giving boxy and lean silhouettes to the models that walked down the runway in pairs.

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I have been a smitten kitten with these optimistic yellows and retro-esque shapes.   These signature checks have become my “Where’s Waldo” of the season, and celebs are popping up everywhere rocking their subtly-louis frocks.

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^^ I never buy Elle magazine but was so excited to see Taylor in one of my favorite looks that I bought this month’s. Unfortunately I don’t get to wear the dress, but my coffee table does. 

I think I’m going on a hunt for some cheap checks of my own. Let’s face it, who doesn’t want to look like a

“big….beautiful… pineapple!” ?

 

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Or  date a guy named Doody…? 😛

Ahhhhh my eyes feel so much better! I think it’s time I run off to go find some Spring Break sun fun! My best friend Nadia is in town! More on that later.

xo