As I slowly chip away at my roster of design classes, I’ve had some great opportunities to broaden my horizons, expand the scope of my skills, and most importantly, increase my chance of survival in the zombie apocalypse. 

^^Portland zombie

It is no secret that I was the last child to complete the timed mile run in elementary school, and never got much faster…nor am I notably coordinated and have been known to mistake my finger for a block of cheese….So if I can’t hunt and gather or be a warrior, what’s left?

Translator? Nein, ich spreche nur ein bissen Deutch…plus the Germans have been learning English for decades so that’s out…

Medical expert? Oh! Maybe?  Let me look on WebMD and see….

Prostitute?   Does this look mean anything to you?

You cray! *snap snap snap*

I was starting to face the music;  fated to meet my doom as a zombie cupcake with cherry frosting… until now!

My love of needles+thread has led me to a class where I am learning the age-old art of  Leatherworking. Okay so ideally I’d like to be able to throw together some crafty bags or shoes like any girly girl, but as I beveled, skived, and saddle-stitched from the comfort of my desk during a couple-week intensive course at my design school, I realized not all hope was lost for me! Do you think your shoes are going cobble themselves?  Ever tried bringing back enough berries to feed a team using only your two hands? Where are you going to turn when you need a new scabbard?

Exactly.

Things are off to a solid start- just check out the belt I made this week!!

If you look at the top left corner of the first photo, you can see the strap of vegetable-tanned leather it transformed from!

Here are just some of the tools used.  An all-purpose leatherworking knife and corkboard (those things are sharp!) , a box cutter and cutting board, beeswax and canvas, and lots of paper towels! We beveled, skived, oil-treated, dyed, smoothed, molded, soaked, hammered, sanded, burnished and punched holes– all in just a few short days! I have to let my belt set for 24 hr before I can buff it, but then it will be ready to wear!  bedazzle!!!!!

(You can exhale, I was kidding)

This weekend I have to go pick up my first pigskin for a tote bag as next week’s project.  The idea of going out to buy skin is still sort of strange, but- hey, I can’t deny that it is a really important part of learning about the industry and basics of construction. And of course, vital to my survival of the pending mass resurrection of conscious-less corpses.

With that, I will be taking applications for my survival team. I still need someone fast, someone who can use a knife without slicing their finger, a translator (pig latin counts, but I’ll need references), Dr. Oz, and a hooker.

Please e-mail applications to dorkychickinlipstick@gmail.com

Deadline pending, we need to find the right people for the team.

More on leatherworking next week 🙂

xo