DorkyChick Diary: Being an Idiot Human

One day you might find yourself with bright red hair eating soup outside in a parking lot on an unusually hot March day. Your head might be pounding a little because you decided to have a couple shots of whiskey last night after your shift at the bar. Your pants might have gotten to that point where you need to diet or buy new ones and you may have just needed to pull down the back of your shirt to protect your decency.

You may sit there in the hum of the traffic realize you are an idiot human. You have spent thousands on education, but you spill with some frequency. You still get spellchecked by the computer when you spell words like “piece” and “field”. You still haven’t figured out why your apartment is always messy.

You may decide it is wonderful to be such a moron; drooling, dropping, and dawdling. And the weight on your shoulders may just evaporate in the perfect sun and realign you with yourself. Your senses would filter the outside world just as they should, and sitting pensively as people pass you in a parking lot suddenly wouldn’t make you feel so naked.

You may realize that today, you’re just harvesting inspiration by watching red shopping carts deport and return; deport and return, seeing children wearing pink sequin fedoras as their parents silently foster their independence, and admiring fresh, bright spring clothes being debuted under a cloudless sky. You might find yourself drawing your eyes up to clean lines and natural materials of the attractive modern building as it towers over pairs of shoppers that don’t notice. Ice in your to-go cup might tingle and freeze your tongue as your back starts to ache from sitting on the hard, elevated concrete. You may have come one step closer to inspirational nirvana as your skin turns slightly pink.

And after all this spiritual bliss you might realize the whole time your buttcrack was hanging out.


Have an amazing, inspired Saturday. I hope it’s sunny where you are too 🙂


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